i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
