So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
