You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
