people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
