She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize