shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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