dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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