I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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