go do what you do best...puke behind churches
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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