Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
