Small penises have feelings too.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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