Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
In America we eat man semen.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
