what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
