They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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