butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
