i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
