we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
