Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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