it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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