Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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