Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
