So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
