guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
