No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
