are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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