Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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