I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
