its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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