belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
