yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
