we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
