I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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