this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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