I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
