i just wanna soil my oats bro
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
