anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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