After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
