Who wears a wallet chain?!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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