Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
