i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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