is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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