Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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