I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
