You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
