Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
