You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
