Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
