Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
