I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
