so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
