The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
