His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
