Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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