you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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