if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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