I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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