i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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