so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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