You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Where is the hickey?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
